hey kids – check out the latest scandal-free amazing race! thanks mr. jon for his cheeky column – you’re always on time! and always able to provide perfect quips to this heart-pounding show! i swear when i watch this show i feel like i’m on speed! it sure keeps the blood pumping! popbytes out for now!
Good evening to Uchenna and the now bald Joyce, who depart from the pit
stop at 11:24 PM. Last week, they completed the not-so-fast-forward,
because their first place finish placed them only minutes ahead of the
other teams. Meredith and Gretchen depart at 11:33 PM, 9 minutes after
Uchenna and Joyce.
The clue tells the teams to fly to Istanbul, Turkey. There, they must
find the Kiz Kulesi and find their clue. There’s a TON of confusion
about flights wherein Rob tries to convince Amber and followers Ron and
Kelly that there isn’t possibly an earlier flight to take, but Uchenna
and Joyce and Meredith and Gretchen prove him wrong and arrive in Turkey
TWO HOURS BEFORE THEM, BABY! Build a house out of that, Rob.
Once at Kiz Kulesi, whose name closely resembles that of a kid in my
school, teams have to find a gnome and cart it around. They also have to
find Galata Kulesi. What’s with all the Kulesi? Perhaps the gnome’s name
is Kulesi? Perhaps Kulesi is the Turkish for Istanbul? I don’t know.
The clue at Galata Kulesi is a detour: Columns or Kilos. Uchenna and
Joyce, Rob and Amber, and Meredith and Gretchen do Kilos while Ron and
Kelly do Columns. In Kilos, UJRAMG have to weigh a bunch of people.
Like, tons. Two point seven five tons, to be exact, har har!
Ron and Kelly’s task is to complete a puzzle in this awesomely lighted
chamber with tons of columns. It seems quite easy, even though all the
other teams did the Kilos. Actually, both tasks seemed quite easy. But
if everyone else had done Columns, they would have had a light show. And
light shows? Are cool.
Lots of weighing and puzzle solving ensue. The next clue says to go to
Rumeli Hisari (HA! TAKE THAT KULESI). There, they will get a clue. Yawn.
What happened to the days where the teams would have to DO something to
get a clue? I miss those days. I also kind of miss Lynn and Alex, but
just a little. Indeed, I think it’s only their high pitched voices I
miss. Sigh. Squealing is such a delicacy.
Roadblocking follows! The roadblocker must have climbing as his or her
“forte.” Uchenna, Gretchen, Rob, and Ron do the task. They must climb a
tower, find a key, and repel back down. They will then open a book
containing their next clue.
Gretchen’s voice is annoying me to no end. Apparently, something in her
mind is telling her to constantly YELL in a voice that goes ONNNNNN and
ONNNNN. Like, she’ll take two words, like “old age,” for example, and
turn it into OLDDDDDDDD AGEEEEEEE. And to make matters worse, she
usually adds in a couple of “OHHHH, NOOOOOs!” and “OHHHH, GODDDDs!” here
and there, you know, to make me angry. Throughout the roadblock she was
screaming OHHHHH, NOOOO! and I was all SHUTTTT UPPPPP because, well,
I’ve had enough of her screaming antics. However, her face is starting
to look better. The scars seem to be healing.
And the pit stop! Uchenna and Joyce arrive first followed by Meredith
and Gretchen, then Rob and Amber, and finally Ron and Kelly, who of
course are not eliminated. Oh, and also Ron and Kelly win a wonderful
prize because their gnome had special powers (in the form of taking
another name besides Kulesi. I kid). But it evens out, since they have
all their possessions taken away and they will have no money at the
start of the next leg.
Next week: There are lots of driving of double-decker busses, lots of
frustration, and lots of canoe/boat problems.
Wish: Gretchen, please stop talking. Mime or something.
