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you didnt hear it from
me...by nikkib
issue no. 23 on popbytes
I thought I would brighten everyone's week by giving you a new list: Celebs I Can't Stand! Isn't that fun?
I thought about this way too hard and therefore probably missed some obvious choices.
As with my celebrity boyfriends list, I'm sure this will be ever-changing.
5 Penelope Cruz
Salma Hayek was here first and besides, she's hotter.
4 Melanie Griffith
Obvious craziness aside, I just can't get over that horrible 'Antonio' tat on her arm.
3 Michael Rappaport
I can't explain it, I've just always hated him.
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2 Jude Law
Sexiest Man Alive? I knew I hated People Magazine for more reasons than their crappy stories. Jude Law wins Girliest Man Alive for me.
1 Elizabeth Hurley
I don't feel as though I need to explain myself. Suffice it to say that I've hated her since that horrible Versace safety pin dress.
Honorable Mentions:
Renee Zellwegger, Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, Usher, Celine Dion
Now, just to prove to you all that I'm not all negative, here's a list of my favorite things this week (in no particular order):
• Veronica Mars
• Wendy's single combo (biggie sized with a diet coke, of course)
• Pork Chops as the only entree at a wedding reception (ballsy, go Kate!)
• Mary Kate & Ashley lip gloss
• Cooking meals in my slow cooker
• My Baby Jake
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If Lindsay Lohan & Mischa Barton go to rehab do you think they could take Tara Reid for us, too?
Is there anything better than a crazy rumor that we can't confirm? Now this might be the
Glade-and-Sharpie cocktail we just huffed talking, but the plastic pumpkin left over from Halloween
told us a rumor that Mischa Barton and Lindsay Lohan are going on vacation together. No word on
where they're going, but they should be back in 28 days or so. We know! Totally nuts, right? Didn't
Lohan just get back to work on Herbie: Fully Loaded after her hospital stay? Isn't Barton shooting
The O.C.? And what are the odds they'd both take trips at the same time with their crazy schedules?
Never mind. This Sharpie is spent and Mr. Pumpkin is threatening to eat our soul if we don't run out
to the Office Depot for a refill. That crazy devil pun'kin! - {
defamer.com}
Oh, Nicole! You naughty, naughty girl! (Said in my most sarcastic voice) I wonder if her PR folks planted stunning admission this to throw us off the trail of the truly disgusting thing she's up to dating Steve Bing. EW!
Nicole Kidman has unveiled a secret 'addiction' - she's a smoker. The Oscar-winning actress admits
she enjoys the occasional cigarette, and she currently has no plans to ditch the habit. She tells
Harper's Bazaar, 'I smoke cigarettes! Occasionally. It's an addiction and I would say to anybody who
was going to start, 'Don't.' But you have to enjoy life a little, don't you? When I see a great
piece of cheese and wonder if it's better to eat it and get cellulite or not eat it, in the end,
I'll probably nibble on the cheese.' - {
imdb.com}
I thought and thought about this but couldn't come up with anything. Ok, maybe I didn't think that hard . Who do YOU think it is?
Could it be that a certain sitcom star has seduced his smaller sibling? So say my spies on the set
of that man show who tell me that what started as cute camaraderie quickly turned into sweet savage
sex. When their religious taskmaster suggested the cast spend more time on their knees, I don't
think this is quite what he had in mind. At least they followed his direction to the letter -
grammatically speaking, of course. - {
filth2go.com}
Ok, I know the whole 'Tara Reid and Her Weird Boob' thing is old news, but I just LOVED this bit about Carson 'Puffy' Daly.
Tara Reid knows how to make an entrance. Some parts more than others. She turned up at P. Diddy's
35th birthday extravaganza Thursday, comfortably after the cocktail hour. But while posing for
photographers on the red carpet, her left breast decided to get some air. One photographer reports:
'Her top fell down and one breast popped out. Her nipple looked reconstructed. She didn't know it
was hanging out and we were all snapping. Finally, a PR lady fixed her strap.' (The reps were
distracted because, moments before Reid's exposure, designer Betsey Johnson had knocked over one of
the flaming lanterns along the red carpet.) The photographer continued, 'After she pulled her top
back up, Tara had real anger in her face. She came over to us and wanted to see the pictures. She
told us, 'Let me see those. You guys better not use those or else - you're all scum.'' Her former
beau Carson Daly showed up sometime later. 'We were wondering whether we should show him,' said the
snapper. 'But I said, 'He's not going to recognize those breasts anyway.'' - {Gatecrasher,
NYDNews.com}
Brigitte Nielsen is like a scary movie she's scares me in a good way .
Brigitte Nielsen seemed to be feeling no pain on a Swedish TV show recently. The great Dane appeared
on a show called 'High Chaparral' and says our source, 'She kept smacking [the hosts], singing, was
drinking [we're not sure what] She kept saying Dig it.'' (The Scoop)
Oh man, I would SO rather Kate & Chris break up.
Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell have reportedly split after a 21-year romance. Friends have revealed
the couple's relationship has 'lost its zip' in recent years and Hawn has moved on to realize her
dream of traveling the world. In recent years, the 59-year-old Buddhist actress has been spending
more and more time in India, where she often meets up with Pakistani cricket legend Imran Khan - a
friendship that has reportedly upset Russell. According to sources on the set of Russell's new movie
Sky High, the actor isn't taking the split well. One tells America's Globe tabloid that the movie
star has been surly on the set, arguing with cast mates Kelly Preston and Lynda Carter. The source
tells the tabloid, 'Kurt seemed totally out of control and, instead of letting up when he saw
Kelly's reaction, he just kept going until she finally burst into tears. - {
imdb.com}
I don't really care about Saffron Burrows and Fiona Shaw shacking up, but it got me thinking about Portia di Rossi. Am I the only one who remembers that she was living with Francesca Gregorini back in her Ally McBeal days?!
Is sexy actress
Saffron Burrows planning to go public with a
lesbian love affair? The tasty 'Troy' tartlet, 31, is shacking up with 'Harry Potter' actress
Fiona
Shaw, 45, reports the London Sun, which says they plan to make an announcement soon. Burrows, who recently moved into
Shaw's North London pad, once told an interviewer, 'I don't think who I sleep with is of any
interest to anyone.' A pal told the paper, 'They've been together for a while but the relationship
has moved up a gear and they want to commit to each other.' Her rep had no comment. - {
pagesix.com}
Could this be my BFF Kelly Ripa?
Which stick-thin TV personality who is secretly battling an eating disorder was spotted at Star
Jones' wedding salivating over the sumptuous dessert buffet at the Waldorf-Astoria? She allowed
herself to taste one canapé and that was it. - {
pagesix.com}
Not to give Star REYNOLDS (puh-leeze) more space than she deserves, but here's another awkward event ol' Al threw before the wedding. And did anyone see his groomsmen? I haven't seen that many gay men since I went to see Margaret Cho in San Francisco.
Naysayers abound, but we'll bet Star Jones' marriage to Al Reynolds lasts at least two years. That's
because Jones got Reynolds to sign a prenup stating that if the unholy alliance goes south before
the two-year watermark, Reynolds gets nothing. Jones and Reynolds partied until the wee hours Sunday
morning at the Waldorf after their wedding Saturday night - Reynolds' second all-nighter of the
weekend. On Friday, he held his 'Roman Baths'-themed bachelor party at the Time Hotel. 'It was so
uncomfortable,' said our spy. 'You had to sign a confidentiality agreement to get in and then you
were sent to the penthouse, where they made you get naked.' All clothes were put into plastic bags
on the floor and the 60 men were given bathrobes to put on. 'We sat basically naked in a freezing
room for a couple of hours,' says an attendee. 'There were only two bars and they were sponsored by
Hypnotiq, Remy and some awful beer. At 11:50 p.m., 10 topless girls came out. They were butt-ugly
except for two of them who simulated lesbian sex on the bed. Ten people left immediately - it was
very uncomfortable.' - {
pagesix.com}
Wait, Paris Hilton is just 'starting' to annoy people?
Paris Hilton is really starting to annoy the deejays in the clubs where she parties. Insiders claim
Paris makes her deejay chums play her much-hyped single 'Screwed' so that she can dance alone while
onlookers stare ...(Rush & Molloy, NYDailyNews.com)
The first time I read this, I was like 'JayZ!' Then I started thinking about it and if they're talking about Nelly and Ashanti, I'm going to kick someone at Page Six's ass.
Which megastar rapper has been cheating on his superstar songstress girlfriend with the sultry
hostess of a popular hip-hop TV show? - {
pagesix.com}
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