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Apparently we gave Chris Brown a seizure?

Apparently we gave Chris Brown a seizure?
August 12, 2013 JEREMY FEIST

Chris Brown

Last Friday, Chris Brown reportedly had a seizure, which is actually really sad. We’re by no means fans of the guy, but we don’t want to actually see his health in crisis. Anyway, Chris could have left the whole thing to play its course and let people know he had a vulnerable side, but then he was like, “Nah,” and decided to issue a press release about how this is all our fault instead of, you know, a pre-existing condition he’s had to deal with. Us Weekly reports …

“While in the studio working early this morning, Chris suffered a nonepileptic seizure (NES),” his rep told Us in a statement. “He was not hospitalized. The rep added, “His doctor tended to him this afternoon and attributes the NES to intense fatigue and extreme emotional stress, both due to the continued onslaught of unfounded legal matters and the nonstop negativity.”

Really? We’re the cause of your seizures? Sure, why not. For the record, here’s a handy list of things Chris blames on the negative “haters” out there:

  • Stubbed toes
  • That skin that forms over hot cocoa when you let it sit too long
  • The Franco-Prussian War
  • Syphilis
  • That feeling you get when you recognize a bit actor in a movie but can’t remember where you know him from
  • Milk going sour
  • When Subway puts cheese on a sandwich with all the triangles pointing in the same direction instead of switching between up and down in order to cover more surface area
  • Seizures
Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.