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Another Day, Another Plea Deal for Justin Bieber

Another Day, Another Plea Deal for Justin Bieber
August 13, 2014 JEREMY FEIST

Justin Bieber Mugshot

Oh Justin Bieber, I’m slightly amazed that you’re still a thing. Don’t get me wrong, I get that pop music in general is mostly a garbage soup with the occasional cracker of excellence rising to the top. I love those crackers. But even by those standards, most of your musical output has been underwhelming compared to your personal life. Anyway, it looks like you have a second plea deal, this one stemming from your DUI arrest earlier this year. So what’s happening? Are you collecting here? Are you seeing how many you can get before your good will has depleted? What’s going on? TMZ reports …

Prosecutors will allow Bieber to plead guilty to careless driving and resisting an officer without violence … this according to the Miami Herald. Bieber will have to attend a 12-hour anger management course and has agreed to a $50,000 charitable donation. Sources tell TMZ … Bieber’s lawyer, Roy Black, had one big concern … that Bieber NOT be placed on probation, for fear he’d go to jail if he violated even a minor law … something you can count on with the Biebs.

Once again, I have two words for you Justin: Vanilla Ice. I’m here to warn you, like Jacob Marley, that if you don’t change your ways you’re going to be stepping into a very bleak future. Do you really want to be the lead-in for Kitchen Crashers and Man Caves on the DIY Network? I mean the good news is they’re making another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, so at least you’ll get to pump out a song about giant turtle monsters before obscurity sets in. Silver lining!

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.