With Lindsay Lohan heading to jail, Ali looking more and more like a 50-year-old stripper everyday and their son presumably on the fast track to a teenage rehab stint, you’d think Dina and Michael Lohan would probably pull their heads out of their asses and start working on this whole “parenting” thing. You would be wrong. First, let’s take a look at what Daddy Lohan was up to:
Mere hours after his daughter tanked in court — Michael Lohan coped with his disappointment … by hitting up one of the wildest bars on the Sunset Strip … Saddle Ranch! After leaving CNN, where he did an interview with Larry King, Michael hightailed it to the famous watering hole … where he smiled with fans, posed for photos, and “relaxed.” Michael told us he was going to call his daughter from inside the bar … probably to make her jealous. SOURCE
And we have our first complete and total fuck-up as a father and human being. But what about Mama Lohan? Well, here’s White Oprah with her usual lack of self-awareness:
Dina Lohan watched in disbelief as her daughter Lindsay was sentenced Tuesday to 90 days in jail for violating terms of probation over a three-year-old drug case. “This is so not fair to do this to my child,” a flabbergasted Dina Lohan told PopEater exclusively shortly after Judge Marsha Revel made the announcement. Dina Lohan was not at the Beverly Hills courtroom for the hearing, but her ex-husband Michael was. SOURCE
Yup, two for two! Christ, with parenting like that I’m surprised she made it this long without being thrown in jail. God knows if I had parents like that, I’d be regularly drinking my weight in vodka and main-lining crystal meth straight into my aorta. Christ, they probably celebrated their daughter going to jail by trying to steal a Cookie Puss cake, then calling her up and telling her how great it is to drink vodka at 11:00 in the morning!