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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

The Idol house is haunted now. Uh-huh. Sure.

The Idol house is haunted now. Uh-huh. Sure.
March 24, 2011 JEREMY FEIST
American Idol

Normally, when a show’s rating start dwindling after a couple seasons, the producers get desperate and try to bring in new viewers by shaking things up a bit. You know, introduce new regular characters, get rid of old ones, throw in some random plot twists that make no sense. Case in point: The American Idol contestants reportedly moved out of the house they were staying in because it was haunted or some shit. Seriously.

But the paranormal activity that sent the contestants over the edge happened last week — when several wannabes claim they watched a bed sheet suddenly take on a life of its own and FLOAT down an empty hallway!!! And as if the ghosts weren’t enough, Sunday’s torrential rains caused the roof to leak like a mutha. Sources connected with the production tell us … the contestants FREAKED OUT and demanded to move … and Idol producers obliged. SOURCE

I’m not saying that American Idol just jumped the shark. What I’m saying is that American Idol just played hopskotch on the shark’s back, set it on fire, beat it with an ax, rolled it around in salt, then fucked the shark’s mother while it made the shark watch and then never called the shark’s mom back. I mean really: Haunted houses? Holy crap, even The Brady Bunch stopped at cursed tiki idols, and most of the cast and crew were on crack and fucking each other.

American Idol