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All T, All Shade: Scream Queens

All T, All Shade: Scream Queens
March 11, 2014 JEREMY FEIST
RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul's Drag Race

At last! After three episodes, we finally see the girls of RuPaul’s Drag Race come together as one whole unit! Except … not really. Last night, the queens had to split into teams to act out horror movies, and what do you know, they ended up reforming the original teams from the last two weeks. Since I have zero will to go through twelve queens and give them all the same notes, I’ll just score each team as a collective unit. So which scream queen will live to see the sequel, and which one didn’t even make it to the opening credits? Welcome to primetime, bitch …

Team Milk

Last week, when the second group of girls came in, a lot of people turned around on the whole “split premiere” thing. I think the big reason people responded so positively was because the second batch was stronger, both in terms of talent and personality, so it wasn’t terribly surprising that they ended up doing much better in the challenge.

Courtney Act and Bianca Del Rio were amazing as the opening couple, although their runway dresses were a bit safe. Joslyn Fox really turned it around after last week, and while Trinity K. Bonet‘s acting was kind of limp, she takes notes well. That being said, when Bianca told her to make her character ghetto, I had a flashback to Sasheer Zamata‘s Racist Radio bit. I thought Milk did great in both the mini-challenge (THAT PACKAGE) and in the main-challenge, and while I liked her runway, I don’t think it was the best decision. Next week, she’s going to have to bring out the full-on feminine glam, because I know Michelle Visage is going to ding her. As for Darienne Lake, she was the clear winner. Not only was her performance as the head in the box amazing, but her runway dress was killer, and her winning is a massive vindication after last week.

Although I do have one more thing to add in regard to Bianca. She’s still a front-runner, but I get the feeling she doesn’t understand how she comes across at times. Like, when she was helping out Trinity. I get that she was legit trying to be helpful, but the tone made it seem like she was just reading her for filth. I think Bianca’s a lot nicer and more helpful than people give her credit for, but I think she lacks awareness of how she sounds to other people sometimes

Team Adore

Hooooooooo boy … yeah. Everything Milk did right as a team leader, you can pretty much reverse it and apply it directly to Adore Delano and her team this week. A big part of it is that Adore’s team had a lot of the younger queens on it, so the maturity level isn’t exactly the highest. Add on top of that Adore’s complete lack of leadership ability, and you had yourself a trainwreck from beginning to end. Miscast parts, no rehearsal, and a team with zero acting ability … as my current director would put it, WOOF.

Off the top, you had Laganja Estranja and April Carrion. Laganja did a pretty handy job, although her runway look was mature to the point of making her look old. April’s umbrella and raincoat inspired runway was amazing, but her “butch” acting was ROUGH. Gia Gunn was just awful from beginning to end, from her sh!t acting to her sh!t runway to her sh!t reading. “I am the boom boom gun”? Seriously? Your idea of sassy wordplay is stringing together random words in a bitchy tone and hoping it makes sense. I guess what I’m saying is GO HOME.

Out of all the queens, Ben De La Creme and Vivacious got the roughest shake. Ben, because she could have won this challenge if it hadn’t been for her team, and Vivacious, because the editors clearly had no problem raking her over the coals. I think they were trying to show how she did overall in her performance, but picking the take where she has a ten-second pause before her line delivery? SHADE. She ended up going home, but it seemed a tad unfair. Personally, I think the judges gave Adore a HUGE pass this week. She clearly has a lot of talent, and her acting was pretty good, but her team failed because of her. I’m just really surprised that they didn’t force her into the bottom two as penance. Next week is the singing challenge though, so I’m guessing that’ll be her opportunity to turn it around and show her talent … unless Courtney wins.