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WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

All T, All Shade: Oh No She Betta Don’t!

All T, All Shade: Oh No She Betta Don’t!
April 1, 2014 JEREMY FEIST
RuPaul's Drag Race

RuPaul's Drag Race

Considering how the musical challenges on the show have ranged from punk rock, to cabaret, to 80’s charity ballad and to Broadway, I’m a little amazed that RuPaul’s Drag Race has never done a rap challenge. Actually, that’s not entirely accurate: They did one in the season one finale, and Alexis Mateo pulled out what Michelle Visage called “The Hannah Montana of Hip-Hop”, but there’s never really been a challenge specifically devoted to rap. So it makes sense for the show to break out an old school rap battle challenge, as well as a reading mini-challenge because why not? So which girls lost themselves in the moment, and which ones ended up with vomit on their drag already? (Mom’s spaghetti.)

Adore Delano [Winner]

Congrats to Adore for finally winning a challenge! After a shaky-yet-overall-good Broadway showing, the bitch really hunkered down and delivered on the rap challenge. And what do you know, she one! Her look was on-point, and despite a rocky start she nailed it at the last moment. The only thing I’d say is that I kind of agree with Michelle: She needs to do something about that hemline because it’s getting a little tragic. I know Adore’s not a gown queen, so I think it might be time for her to stick to a cocktail dress.

BenDeLaCreme [Safe]

Honestly, Ben wasn’t that bad. She was probably top four, and you can tell she sold that rap as best she could. Hell, she probably had the best writing of the bunch, but I think she just got edged out ever so slightly. That being said, I’m not sure why she felt the need to ask Darienne why she didn’t get picked. As shady as Darienne was this episode, I think it was an overall moot point.

Bianca Del Rio [Top 3]

For anyone who thought that she was just going serve anything but insult comedy — myself included — they ate crow last night because Bianca nailed it. Out of all the queens, Bianca’s showing the most range by far, and it would take a fuck-up of massive proportions for her to go home at this point. As much as she doesn’t want to get caught up in the sisterhood thing, she’s really showing herself to be a kind, caring soul underneath it all. And I’m so happy she changed up the silhouette this week.

Courtney Act [Safe]

Once again, Courtney is just kind of there this week. She’s witty enough and pretty enough, and she’s an amazing actress and singer, but I think there’s just not enough nerve there. She needs to shake things up, because thus far she’s just kinda been sailing along on safety. As for her look, I liked it, although I think the bedhead lost its touch without her sleeping bag dress.

Darienne Lake [Bottom 3]

Noooooooooo! Darienne, why? Why must you start getting all bitter and bitchy on me now? I thought you were going to be funny and lovable, but you’re starting to veer into mean territory and it’s not cute. As far as the rap goes, she was clearly out of her element and visibly uncomfortable with the whole thing, and her runway look was once again gorgeous, but just kinda there. Like Courtney, she needs to shake it up a bit and deliver something unexpected.

Joslyn Fox [Top 3]

Every week, Joslyn gets better and better, and at this rate she might even crack the final three. I’m hoping anyway. Her reading was sharp and hilarious, her rap was amazing, and f*ck what the judges said, I was living for her look on the runway. Total shibari realness. The only thing I’d say is that she could have stood to tone down the make-up just a smidge, because the silver lipstick kind of threw me for a loop.

Laganja Estranja [Safe]

Like Courtney, another one who’s just sort of coasting by on “enough.” Unlike Courtney though, Laganja unwisely seems to be trying to pull attention to herself any way she can, despite the fact that she wouldn’t know what to do with the spotlight if she ever had it on her. There’s been a lot of talk on the blogs about how Laganja seems to come from a pretty affluent, coddled background and seems to be trying to adopt a ghetto vibe to earn easy credibility despite her privilege. The theory actually makes a ton of sense, and it would explain the entitled whininess and stilted slang she seems to appropriate every time a camera’s trained on her.

Milk [Sashay Away]

Admittedly, I didn’t think she was long for this competition, but I don’t think she was really bad enough to be sent home this week. Her rap actually wasn’t bad, and both Eve and Trina actually seemed to like her a fair bit. But unfortunately, she didn’t sparkle in the challenges or in the werq room, so she had to go. It’s a shame really, because there’s something interesting hidden inside her that never got a chance to blossom. At they very least, she exited the show with grace and dignity, which is more than anyone can say for that bitter hag Gia.

Trinity K. Bonet [Bottom 2]

“This isn’t my forte, so I’m sorry if I f*ck up.” Trinity desperately needs to retire this line from her repertoire, because every time she says it, she enters a spiral of self-defeat and it influences the judges into thinking she’s going to fail. She needs to disavow herself of that one toute suite, because it’s doing her a lot more harm than good. That being said, her rap was pretty weak, although I thought her runway was gorgeous and her lip-sync was incredible.