WHEN MUSIC POPS, WE TURN IT UP

Adam Lambert and his boyfriend got arrested!

Adam Lambert and his boyfriend got arrested!

And now, the absolute wussiest story of the day: Adam Lambert and his reality TV star (an oxymoron if ever there was one) boyfriend Sauli Koskinen were arrested last night after getting into a fight outside of a Finnish gay bar. So basically, just imagine what goes on outside of The Abbey every night, only in the voice of the Swedish chef or something like that. TMZ reports:

The couple — and a female companion — were hangin’ at a local gay bar called Don’t Tell Momma … where they got into an argument that got super-violent. As we previously reported, both men attacked each other — and were each arrested for multiple assaults. Lambert and Sauli Koskinen have since been released — and cops say no criminal charges will be pursued.

So basically, they got into a catfight, no one was actually hurt all that badly, and they’ll probably get back together again because twinks are fucking weird like that. I swear to God, there’s something about combining a pair of tweakers, booze, and the outside of a club that always ends in the two of them having a slapfight. This is why I don’t go out clubbing any more. That and the entitled queens who try and pay for a $6.50 drink with a credit card. Bitch, either use cash or open a tab, but there’s no way in hell I’m breaking the flow because the only way you can buy a Bacardi Breezer is with your daddy’s credit card, ho.

Adam Lambert and Sauli Koskinen