A look back on this season of ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’

RuPaul's Drag Race

Last night, RuPaul’s Drag Race ran its annual recap episode, looking back on the season and offering never-before-seen footage. So in honor of next week’s finale, let’s take a look at the queens from the past season and read them for filth.

Alissa Summers

Alissa Summers Remember her? No? Neither does anyone else. Alissa was super hot in and out of drag, but got kicked out first because the bitch basically tried to call a breast plate couture.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Too soon. Well, admittedly I always want to see more of the queen who’s eliminated first, but someone has to go first. Take those tissue paper titties somewhere else, girl.

LaShauwn Beyond

LaShauwn Beyond I actually had high hopes for LaShauwn, to the point where I actually put her on my Drag Race fantasy team. Big mistake. LaShauwn had some wonderful ideas, and her execution when it comes to sewing is top-notch, but the bitch was boring as hell.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Too late. Her looks were awesome, but she’d probably be better suited for Project Runway, but her personality was like watching beige paint dry.

The Princess

The Princess Oh The Princess . . . her name might sound a bit awkward coming out, but I actually really liked her. Admittedly, she didn’t have the snap, but she had a great personality and look.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Too soon. Sure, she couldn’t act, but I just think she was so lovely.

Madame LaQueer

Madame LaQueer Oh lord, what. What. WHAT. Was going on there? One second, she was amazing, the next second, she was awful, then she was on point, then she was hammy and hoakey. I have no fucking clue what was going on there, but I kind of liked her.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Right on time. Her acting was awful in the sitcom challenge, and when Michelle Visage tells you not to wear green, and you show up on the next main stage in nothing but green? Bye girl bye.

Kenya Michaels

Kenya Michaels I know, I know, everyone counted Kenya Michaels in as a contender when they first saw her, but we all knew in the back of our minds that she would eventually crazy herself out of the competition eventually. And she did! Twice!

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Both! The first time she left, part of me felt that Milan should have got the boot instead. The second time, I was just confused as to how the hell she even came back.

Milan

Milan Holy crap, I’m sorry, but Milan was sooooooooo goddamn annoying. Everything she did was a ploy for attention, and the sad part is that when she got it, she couldn’t back it up with any sort of substance. And really, when you’re on a reality show about Drag Queens, maybe it’s for the best that you don’t talk about how you don’t want to be seen as a drag queen.

Did she leave too soon or too late? –  WAY too late. She should have been kicked off in the Glamazons vs. Superstars challenge.

Jiggly Caliente

Jiggly Caliente I dug the shit out of Jiggly Caliente, and I definitely think she was a fierce and witty queen. But at the same time, all her looks looked like prom dresses, and she brought so many issues onto the show with her that she basically signed up for the full subscription.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Part of me feels like she left when she needed too, but at the same time, I also think she probably should have left in the beginning so that she could sort out everything she had going on at home.

Willam

Willam WILLAM! Oh my God . . . Willam was a weird egg, because I thought she was totally superficial and annoying at first. And then as the show went on, I started to see her as this sort of Andy Kaufman-style send up of reality TV contestants. Sure, she had her bitchier moments, but they were always backed up with a certain level of intelligence and self-awareness that most people lack.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – I want to say too soon, because she was definitely top four level. But apparently, whatever she was doing that got her disqualified was going on for a while. Soooooo . . . maybe we were just lucky to have her along for the ride as long as she lasted. It was still sad to see her go, but at least we got to keep her around for a nice long while.

Dida Ritz

Dida Ritz CHEESECAKE! Dida Ritz did have a great personality and a fantastic set of legs, but the big problem I had with her was that she was putting $5 clothes on a $1,000,000 body. That, and she lacked the nerve to really do anything exciting.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – Right on time. She never really had an off week, but when she did during the presidential debate challenge, her dismissal just felt natural.

Latrice Royale

Latrice Royale Latrice Royale was probably the most elegant, dignified and supportive queen in the competition. She was funny, she was wholesome, and her laugh was goddamn amazing. And she gave us the wonderful hymn, “Jesus is a Biscuit”. Truly a class act.

Did she leave too soon or too late? – *Sigh* All right, I might get into a bit of trouble for this one, but . . . She left when she needed too. Believe me, I wanted Latrice in the top three more than I’ve ever wanted anything ever, and I cried like a bitch when she sashayed away. That being said, she was teetering on the bottom rung of the competition for a while. I think she’s a beautiful person, inside and out, but her canine couture just wasn’t cutting it.

And now, let’s weigh the odds on the top three, shall we?

Phi Phi O’Hara

Phi Phi O'Hara Total bitch. She’s a fierce competitor, but her problem is that she focuses too much on the “competitor” part, rather than the “fierce” part. And while she may be getting better in the competition, her lack of editing, tact, and sweetness should knock her out of the race.

Will she win? – Good God I hope not. That being said, she’s got a very club-positive look, so if they want to go with pretty and safe over talent and risk, Phi Phi could win it.

Chad Michaels

Chad Michaels A beautiful, consummate professional. Everything Chad has done in the competition has been immaculately polished and perfected, and she’s shown that she can do so much more than just Cher.

Will she win? – Possibly. If they’re going for the safe, fishy look, then Chad blows Phi Phi out of the water in terms of looks, class, and talent. That being said, Chad doesn’t really take that many chances, which might hurt her in the final three.

Sharon Needles

Sharon Needles Who doesn’t love Sharon Needles at this point? She’s unique, she’s a risk-taker, she has a diverse range of looks, she’s witty, she is everything and we are living for her.

Will she win? – Probably. Sharon has won the most main challenges of any queen in Drag Race history, she’s a fan favorite, and she’s a style of drag that really can be seen as “the future”. That being said, her spooky look might turn off the judges, especially Jeffrey Moran, who should really stick to vodka instead of drag. That being said, we’re all hoping for a Sharon win here.

Jeremy Feist About Jeremy Feist

Jeremy Feist is an (ahem) entertainer from Toronto, Canada. He writes, acts, and performs on stage, and has been a writer for Popbytes for almost three years now. He lives in Toronto with his boyfriend, his incredibly dumb but cute puppy, and his immortal cat.

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