I Think Michael Lohan Just Broke My Brain

Another day, another way Michael Lohan has found to make himself seem as completely goddamn insane as humanely possible. Case in point: Michael has commissioned a singer to create a club track dedicated to Lindsay Lohan. Because the one place you want your broke, recovering, former-junkie to be is a club, right? PARENTING, WOO! Michael says the song -- a companion piece of sorts to Lindsay's 2005 track "Confessions of a Broken Heart (Daughter to MORE

British Film Critics Are Kinda Bitchy

What better way to cap off the year than with a film anthology that really does nothing more than get really bitchy about a bunch of film stars? Well hum hallelujah, because British film critic David Thomson has released The New Biographical Dictionary of Film, and he's taking everyone down with him. "Tom Cruise is the worst of the spoiled brats of Hollywood," writes Thomson, who has been a fixture in film critique for 35 years. He calls Hilary MORE

Russell Brand Isn’t Getting Any Tonight!

For those of you who ever wondered why it is that Katy Perry can't seem to leave the house without turning her Homer Simpson Makeup Gun up to "whore", BEHOLD. This is what Katy looks like without makeup. You can all thank Russell Brand for posting this on Twitter, which means that he just lost pretty much all titty-privileges for, like, ever. Seriously, how Russell hasn't "accidentally" tripped and fallen out of a 40-story window is in and of MORE

Here’s How Hugh Hefner Ruined His Life…

... Or what little of it remained anyway. What? He's 84-years-old for God's sake. The man cums powder at this point. Anyway, in an interview, Hugh Hefner and his current blonde with big tits (She has a name right? HA! Just kidding. Of course not, she's dead inside) sat down and spoke about how Hugh Hefner proposed to her, thus ensuring her a hefty sum of money once he kicks it in three, two, one... Crystal said she knew she was getting a ring MORE

Joe Francis Got Divorced. LOL

It's official! Joe Francis is getting a divorce after only one month of marriage! Sort of. Actually it turns out he was never really full-on married to begin with, but for the sake of kicking a misogynistic douchebag when he's down, HA! Ya'll got dumped! The Girls Gone Wild founder, 37, confirmed the UsMagazine.com report that he and wife of just seven weeks, Christina McLarty, have called it quits. "After careful and thoughtful consideration on MORE

FitnessBytes: Have More Fun!

Remember when Justin Timberlake was flashing his nekkidness all over the place? I hope this New Year he makes a resolution to go back to being a hot bitch. We're often troubled by making resolutions because we know what to do, we really just don't want to! That's why I suggest doing something fun. If you want to make self-improvements, find ways to enjoy it. For myself, I'm joining a new hiking group because it's a really great way to get MORE

American Psycho 3: Now With More Famewhores!

So Scott Disick, the guy who's really only famous for banging Kourtney Kardashian (who in turn is really only famous for being related to Kim Kardashian, who is only famous for... What have I become?) apparently got into a huge fight with a paparazzi for taking pictures of his kids, thus completing his transformation into Patrick Bateman. Multiple photogs -- not ours -- were shooting Disick and baby Mason, when Scott turned to one snapper and MORE

Christina Hendricks as Wonder Woman? HELL YES!

Every once in a while, along comes a story that makes me feel warm and tingly in the place where my heart would be if I still have one (What? It's not like I was using it anyway!) Today, that comes in the form of a casting rumor about Christina Hendricks taking over the role of Wonder Woman. Oh. Fuck. Yes. Casting details have yet to be announced but busty beauty Hendricks has already been linked to the lead - and the actress admits she'd love MORE

Video Fix: Kanye West’s ‘Monster’

Alright, let's just get it out of the way right now: Kanye West is still kind of a douche, but he's also kinda awesome. There, everyone happy? Movin' on! Anyway, here's the music video for the "HOLY SHIT SO AWESOME" inducing track Monster, featuring Rick Ross, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Bon Iver (one of these things is not like the others things, one of these things just doesn't belong...) The entire thing is pretty damn awesome, although it is MORE

Chris Brown Is Simply Delightful

Normally, I love Twitter fights, mostly because it's like seeing two people at their basest level trying to rip each other's throats out using misspelled words. Except yesterday when Chris Brown got into a feud with Raz B from B2K (... Who?) and the whole thing went full homophobe in the space of about two seconds. Brown got into it with singer Raz B -- after Raz tweeted Brown, "Im just sittin here Thinking how can n**gas like [Eric Benet] and MORE

Oh Joy, Tila Tequila Isn’t Dead Yet

Did you almost forget about Tila Tequila? No? Because you didn't even remember her to begin with? Lucky bastard. Anyway, it seems Tila has come out from underneath her bridge, and not just because someone didn't answer her questions three (First rule of trolls, people!) It turns out, she's being sued for emotional and physical distress, because lets face it, she's not doing anything else. As part of his cross-complaint, [Garry] Sun exposed MORE

The year that (almost) was in … Gaga!

• 45 photos of celebrities touching themselves inappropriately! Socialite Life • Oh, Gross: Amy Fisher released another hardcore porn tape! Evil Beet • Who knew that Ashton and Demi were preparing for Armageddon? The Frisky • New Couple: Adrien Brody and Jennifer Aniston? In Case You Didn't Know • Carrie Fisher has some advice for young Hollywood! Seriously? OMG! WTF? • The closest we'll get to seeing Jessica Alba MORE

Have We Learned Nothing From Paris Hilton?

Because apparently having Paris Hilton inflicted upon society has taught us nothing except that herpes is incredibly unpleasant, Kim Kardashian is burning pretty fast through the Paris Playbook: She's currently working on a music video for the first single off her upcoming album. Every part of that sentence made me lose faith in humanity. Sources connected to the video tell us ... Hype -- the most famous music video director on the planet -- MORE

We’re Not Gonna Drop Snooki Off A Building For New Year’s

Ugh, and we were like this close too. Bastards! Anyway, originally MTV made a statement that a stunt was being planned for the big NYC New Year's Eve bash in Time Square in which Snooki was meant to be placed inside the ball being dropped. But it looks like those plans were nixed, I'm assuming after they found out that Snooki was meant to live through this. 'Jersey Shore' star Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi is looking for another way to ring in the New MORE